Mark Twain
Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyerand its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth30 November 1835
CountryUnited States of America
book reading people
I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
men independence republic
Our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India.
men miles obligation
When some men discharge an obligation, you can hear the report for miles around.
running long recipes
Recipe for a long life: Only smoke while awake. Only run when being chased.
sweet jealous sarcasm
It is believed by everyone that when he was in heaven he was stern, hard, resentful, jealous and cruel, but that when he came down to earth, he became the opposite... sweet, gentle merciful, forgiving. He was a thousand billion times crueler than ever he was in the Old Testament... Meek and gentle? By and by we will examine that popular sarcasm by the light of the hell which he invented.
book law practice
There are no witches. The witch text remains; only the practice has changed. Hell fire is gone, but the text remains. Infant damnation is gone, but the text remains. More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the texts that authorized them remain.
among civilization humorous less notion savage savages white
There are many humorous things in the world, among them the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages
believe cheaper develop dozen eggs friend owe send
I owe a friend a dozen chickens, and I believe it will be cheaper to send eggs instead, and let them develop on the road.
inspirational success work
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
thinking physicians half
A half-educated physician is not valuable. He thinks he can cure everything.
simple waiting three
Simple rules for saving money: To save half, when you are fired by an eager impulse to contribute to a charity, wait and count to forty. To save three quarters, count sixty. To save all, count sixty-five.
men average rights
I am persuaded that the world has been tricked into adopting some false and most pernicious notions about consistency - and to such a degree that the average man has turned the rights and wrongs of things entirely around and is proud to be "consistent," unchanging, immovable, fossilized, where it should be his humiliation.
men hands may
A man may plan as much as he wants to, but nothing of consequence is likely to come of it until the magician circumstance steps in and takes the matter off his hands.
book cat razors
I like a thin book because it will Steady a Table, a leather volume because it will Strop a Razor, and a heavy book because it can be Thrown at a Cat.