Matt Will
Matt Will
beer gay lgbt
I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.
christmas santa birth
Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
years temptation television
Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.
kind uncaring universe
Are we alone in an uncaring universe, or is God some kind of wiseguy?
children kids thinking
One of the things I would like to do is make up stories that I would have enjoyed when I was a kid. So, if I'm thinking about an audience, it's usually a younger version of myself.
failing
Me fail English? That's unpossible.
hilarious believe vampire
Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
guitar radio next
If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV.
loneliness funny-simpsons comic-book-guy
Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
fancy stuff dirt
I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.
home brain stuff
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
kissing bored addresses
Warning signs that lover is bored: 1. Passionless kisses 2. Frequent sighing 3. Moved, left no forwarding address.
growing-up book kids
I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and read a few books and go to college and watch the show again, they can get it on a completely different level.
space cereal ghost
Buy Space Ghost cereal, but don't eat the prizes.