Mike Birbiglia
Mike Birbiglia
Mike Birbigliais an American comedian, writer, actor, and director...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth20 June 1978
CityShewrsbury, MA
CountryUnited States of America
drinking sea white
My friends drink everywhere. They even drink at the laundromat. I tried drinking at the laundromat, and I thought I was in a submarine, navigating the Sea of White Panties with my Spanish-speaking crew. I was like, "Mrs. Sanchez, set the coordinates to Permanent Press! Give me some quarters and another drink! This place is starting to look like a laundromat."
funny humor thinking
It had that kind of open-ended fear to it - like that feeling you get when you're driving and you see a cop. And you're not speeding. You don't have drugs. But you're just thinking, I hope he doesn't notice I'm driving.
fun brain disease
The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short.
funny strong humor
Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong. Bears know who they are, but they often don’t know who you are, which is why they kill you.
funny humor
I'm a compulsive everything.
funny humor garden
My family isn't really Italian. We're more like Olive Garden Italian.
funny humor america
Some people come up to me and say "You know, in Italy, it's pronounced Ber-beel-lia" And I say "Well, here in America, you're annoying..."
funny humor men
I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No... got any Snapple?'
funny humor america
I performed for the U.S. troops in Guantanamo Bay. And signed autographs for people who've been gone from America for so long they didn't realize that I'm not famous.
funny humor two
Two Drink Mike enjoys dancing and knows a magic trick. Whereas, No Drink Mike enjoys biographies, and has serious opinions on wildlife. And Five Drink Mike... dances with wildlife.
want sometimes
Sometimes, when you want to be in a place so badly, you'll do anything.
funny dad humor
I didn't realize how good I was with technology until I met my parents... my dad told me "You're good; you should be a computer programmer." I said, "You're bad... you should be a caveman."
funny cocky humor
I went to a funeral recently, and they handed out Kleenex before the funeral. Which I thought was cocky.
funny humor race
I'm a whitebread cracker. That's my favorite white person slur: "whitebread". The other day, someone came up to me and said, "What's up, whitebread?" And I was like, "That's not even an insult. That's just my race plus a food. I can do that, too, black bean soup! Stay out of this, Asian chicken platter!"