Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg
Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth24 February 1968
CitySaint Paul, MN
CountryUnited States of America
bills break eight miss sale saw says spun today worth wrong
I saw some two-dollar bills today - They were for sale for eight dollars. Something went severely wrong there. What happened? It spun out of control... Now it's worth eight, still says two. I miss the two. I could break a two.
bar candy eating guy named next run says sorry time
I get the Reese's candy bar, If you read it, there's an apostrophe. The candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time your eating a Reese's and some guy named Reese comes up to you and says let me have that. You better give it to him. I'm sorry Reece, I didn't think I would ever run into you.
again far friend hear mumble says tree walking
I mumble a lot off-stage, I'm a mumbler. If I'm walking with a friend and I say something, he won't hear me, he'll say 'What?'. So I'll say it again, but once again he doesn't hear me, so he says 'What?'. But really it's just some insignificant sh*t that I'm saying, but now I'm yelling, 'That tree is far away.'
focus large monster roaming
I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. There's a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.
liked rewrite screw script wrote
I wrote a script for a guy, and he said he liked it but he thought that I need to rewrite it. I said, Screw that, I'll just make a copy.
funny soccer
I think fooseball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.
american-comedian human pyramid saw
I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist.
ducks six sun
There are six ducks out here, and they all want Sun Chips!
cause copy decide favourite open suddenly three
Kinko's is my favourite copy place cause it's open 24 hours, like if it's three in the morning, and I suddenly decide I need two of something, I'm covered.
belt holds loops pants
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. So which ones the real hero?
american-comedian belt holds loops pants
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. So which one is the real hero?
sister
My sister wanted to be an actress. She never made it, but she does live in a trailer... so she got halfway. She's an actress, she's just never called to the set.
answer anyone quiz reveals shower weird
My roommate says, I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom? It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.
answer anyone reveals shave
My roommate said, 'I need to shave and use the shower. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?' It's like some weird-a** quiz, where he reveals the answer first.