Rita Rudner
Rita Rudner
Rita Rudneris an American comedian, writer and actress. Beginning her career as a Broadway dancer, Rita Rudner noticed the lack of female comedians in New York City and turned her stage presence to stand-up comedy where she’s flourished for over three decades. Her performance on a variety of HBO specials and numerous appearances on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, helped establish Rudner as one of the premiere female comics to emerge from the comedy boom of the 1980s...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 September 1953
CityMiami, FL
CountryUnited States of America
Now that we've got the East-West All-Star game here, don't you think there's the possibility that someday we'll have our own team?
Men hate to lose. I beat my husband once at tennis. I asked him, "Will we ever make love again?" He said, "Yes.... but not with each other.
Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, ""Look, it's always gonna be me!
The entertainment complements what we do here. There is no better shopping than here and there are no better restaurants. There are a million ways to enjoy yourselves in Las Vegas.
I found out I had a real love for comedy and comedy writing. The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing.
It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Whenever I date a guy, I think, "Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.
Barbie ruined my life! It's a really bad image for women. For a long time I thought I was deformed - because my heels didn't touch the ground. I was walking around on tiptoes. What's up with that? I think that it's a bad thing for a woman to try to emulate.
When I want to end a relationship I just say, 'You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children.' Sometimes they leave skid marks.
Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
My mother was the worst cook ever. In school, when we traded lunches, I had to throw in an article of clothing.
I can see close up and my husband can see far away, so we're covered. He tells me who's in the movie and I tell him what's in his sandwich. Together we're human bifocals.
There is a woman who swam around Manhattan, and I asked her, why? She said, it hadn't ever been done before. Well, she didn't have to do that. If she wanted to something no one had ever done before, all she had to do was vacuum my apartment.