Rita Rudner
Rita Rudner
Rita Rudneris an American comedian, writer and actress. Beginning her career as a Broadway dancer, Rita Rudner noticed the lack of female comedians in New York City and turned her stage presence to stand-up comedy where she’s flourished for over three decades. Her performance on a variety of HBO specials and numerous appearances on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, helped establish Rudner as one of the premiere female comics to emerge from the comedy boom of the 1980s...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 September 1953
CityMiami, FL
CountryUnited States of America
I rationalize shop. I buy a dress because I need change for gum.
I never panic when I get lost. I just change where it is I want to go.
I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine...
I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
Good weather all the week, but come the weekend the weather stinks. When the weather is too hot they complain, too cold they complain, and when it's just right, they're watching TV.
I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.
I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.
I started taking ballet lessons when I was 4, and I was performing in ballet companies when I was 10, and I did summer stock in Miami Beach when I was 12, and finally I said, 'I gotta go to Broadway.'
My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
I have a hold limit that I've set for myself. I hold until I start to imagine myself killing the person on the other end. Then I hang up and regroup.
... life is broken down into these stages: you're born and you don't know how anything works; gradually you find out how everything works; technology evolves and slowly there are a few things you can't work; at the end, you don't know how anything works.
Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying
Never play peek-a-boo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!"
My Vegas act is how I make my money.