Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
wife garbage should
I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
beach children parent
I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.
ideas giving quitting
To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.
guy fortune-cookie next
Once I opened up a fortune cookie and inside was the guy's cheque next to me I said hey buddy I got your cheque he said thanks.
respect switzerland no-respect
I'm tellin' ya I get no respect. When I was in Switzerland, I got an obscene yodel.
respect doctors needs
With my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him I want a vasectomy. He said with a face like mine, I don't need one.
school kids home
We lived in a neighborhood that was too rich for us. When I was young, I had to deliver groceries to the homes of the kids I went to school with. I had to go to the back doors to make the deliveries. It was embarrassing. That was one thing out of a hundred.
mother father childhood
My childhood was bad. No father. Mother was greedy and brought me up awful - never made me breakfast once. I don't want to get started. One story is worse than another.
hook mouths lasts
Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
funny humor eye
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
funny success humor
Life is just a bowl of pits.
motivational positive work
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
happiness writing reality
I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
respect kids men
When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.