Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
beautiful reading night
Comedians dissect jokes all the time. Comedians are beautiful structuralists. But ultimately it’s an athletic endeavor. You have to be able to just hit the backhand. You can’t think about all the pieces of it. You can’t think about your swing. You just have to do it. Reading someone else’s deconstruction of what I do, all it does is put me in my head. On nights when the show goes particularly well, I am not aware of its fluidity. A lot of nights I’m just worried that I’m not going to be as good as the script in front of me.
hot hard my-truth
I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
sorry mean mirrors
Love means never having to say you're sorry. That's why I never apologize to my mirror.
names pet goldfish
And of course I don't go anywhere without my pet goldfish, Anthrax. I always tell security I'm carrying Anthrax. Yeah, sure I get a lot of guff about it, but it's a family name; I'm not changing it.
bears would-be gummies
It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.
sex romance language
I've said it a million times: Romance languages lead to premarital sex.
cost-of-living cost affordable
The cost of living keeps going up, although death is surprisingly affordable.
korea honor attention
North Korea is willing to go to any lengths for the whole world to honor its demands of 'Ooh, please pay attention to us.'
religion bills bill-o-reilly
Like all great theologies, Bill [O'Reilly]'s can be boiled down to one sentence: There must be a god, because I don't know how things work.
math add silver
Yeah, Silver and his math are jokes, because math has a liberal bias. After all, math is the reason Mitt Romney's tax plan doesn't add up.
people want corporations
If poor people want food stamps, they should become massive corporations.
mistake mean religion
I know that the pope's infallible, but that doesn't mean he can't make mistakes.
race skins cleansing
While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad.
surrender claims jokes
We claim no respectability. There's no status I would not surrender for a joke. So we don't have to defend anything.