Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
citizens-united would-be said
Citizens United said that transparency would be the disinfectant, but (c)(4)'s are warm, wet, moist incubators. There is no disinfectant.
rivers jail people
Let freedom ka-ching...Corporations do everything people do except breathe, die and go to jail for dumping 1.3 million pounds of PCBs in the Hudson River.
zoos congratulations class
In 1986, our commencement speaker was George Schultz, secretary of state, fourth in line to the president. You get me-basic cable's second most popular fake newsman. At this rate, the class of 2021 will be addressed by a zoo parrot in a mortar-board that has been trained to say "congratulations.
vampire necks protect
Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.
dog animal kingdoms
Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom.
patriotic exercise long
Can't wait for tomorrow when I get to exercise my patriotic duty as an American: Complaining about how long it's taking to VOTE.
apples enough ifs
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.
night fists today
Forgot to live-tweet the election last night, so I'm post-tweeting today. I'll start as soon as my fingers unclench from their rage fists.
world earth planets
I love the earth. If you ask me it's the greatest planet in the world.
gay impossible hermaphrodites
If you are a hermaphrodite, it is physically impossible to be gay.
gay gay-marriage monkeys
In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
successful choices passionate
I didn't realize quite how liberal I was until I was asked to make passionate comedic choices as opposed to necessarily successful comedic choices.
truth sun truth-is
Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me.
truth scream x-files
I scream, you scream, we all scream... for the truth.