Will Martin
Will Martin
Will Martinis a New Zealand-born classical crossover singer...
blind blindfolds ifs
If I were blind, I'd wear a blindfold all the time.
nice book thinking
I got myself a really nice nib pen, with like 15 kinds of India Ink, and tons of different nibs; I think I was just procrastinating, like, once I have the right nib, the book is just going to jump right out of my fingertips... but then it just ended up looking like the shitty drawings that I usually do.
song i-like-you writing
I don't think I ever wrote a song. I can write a lot of jokes, but when I try to write lyrics they're the most direct, non-figurative words, like, 'I like you, I like you,'... and that's it, for the whole song. People would go, 'Ooh, this guy's Dylan or something.' It gives me a lot more respect for songwriters, actually.
teaching guy problem
You always hear about the guy who was raised by wolves. You never hear about the guy who was raised by the guy who was raised by wolves. The problem is, you have a non-wolf imparting wolf teachings.
names wish would-be
I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.
earthquakes wind chimes
Wind chimes are also earthquake chimes.
trying important way
The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.
fart relate jokes
Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else...
Everything I ever learned I was told by someone else.
snacks perfect dry
Cotton candy is the perfect snack for when I'm in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.
simple thinking glasses
I was thinking how strange it is that water is one of the best, simplest things on this planet, and still with a simple glass of water you can neutralize so many of the greatest technological advances that we provide. Like with my blackberry, I can get in touch with so many people, but if I dip it in a small glass of water I'm completely disconnected.
popcorn results explosions
Popcorn is one of the only situations in which you eat the result of an explosion.
ideas training firsts
When I first heard the term 'training bra,' I was freaked out. I was pretty young and I said, 'Did you just say training bra? They're training their chests? I had no idea.' See some lady, her boobs are everywhere. 'What's her deal?' Those are untrained titties.
circles fire truck
Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.