Related Quotes
funny new-york divorce
Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage. Allan Sherman
funny girlfriend humor
My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces. Anthony Jeselnik
funny humor kids
Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.
funny wall cancer
Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer.
funny jesus humor
Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.
funny girlfriend couple
A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'
funny mom couple
My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.
funny baby pain
You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.
funny dad father
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
blue jeans red
She's the gal in the red blue jeans. Gene Vincent
blue defensive ends expect himself improve integral last performance pleased premiere remain rookie team walls year
Gavin Walls was an integral part of last year's team and we are pleased that he will remain a Blue Bomber for the foreseeable future. Gavin established himself as one of the premiere defensive ends in the CFL in 2005 and we expect him to improve upon that Rookie of the Year performance in the years to come. Brendan Taman
blue board city design difference elections encourage fans favorite game land monopoly needed property site slim vote voting web won
We encourage Monopoly fans to participate in the design of our new game board by voting often at our Web site for their favorite landmarks. Remember, elections are often won by a slim margin, so your vote could be the difference needed to land your favorite American city on a blue property space. Matt Collins
blue change damages gas happen oil owe position related sky
We can't be put in a position where we owe some kind of blue sky (undefined) damages related to the change of the area. Not to say we're not sympathetic. If we are going to have oil and gas development, it has to happen where the gas is.
blue consistent decided grass hopefully likes train worked
I thought he worked real well. I think he really likes this track. We decided to train here because if you get rain, it's a little more consistent surface. And hopefully after the Blue Grass he'll be back here.
blue good job passion played power putting specialty team
We just did a good job on the specialty teams. They (the Blue Jackets) played with a lot of passion and urgency. (But) what do you do when your (the Blue Jackets') power play isn't putting them in, and the other team is? Mike Babcock
blue downtown grass promoting realized sign
We realized that there was no sign off the Blue Grass Parkway promoting the downtown district.
blue people collars
I always relate respectfully with blue-collar people.
blue towns montreal
Montreal is a great town. There's equal parts blue-collar town. Jay Baruchel