Famous Quotes & Sayings

David Pierce

Kelsey Grammer is wickedly funny. He's like an 8-year-old child. He's always doing pranks, and we have a great time.

Rob McKittrick

He is that guy in the movie. He is that funny guy who can get in your grill, and be funny about it. He's a lot more interesting in person than you usually see on the screen.

Trevor Noah

Most of my show is true; like, 90% of everything I say on stage is true. I just have to find the way to make it funny - that's the difficult thing.

Taylor Hawkins

Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in trouble.

Shaquille O'Neal

Every time I do something silly, it comes off really funny because it's natural.

Maddie Ziegler

I think it's funny when people, they try to imitate the 'Chandelier' video. I think it's hilarious.

Seth Rogen

I think when you do comedy, you play by a different set of rules. No one really wants you to be in that good shape. Being in good shape implies a level of vanity that isn't necessarily funny.

E. O. Wilson

We've been thinking of stuff to say that's funny all day and we've come up with nothing.

Kathy Najimy

What is challenging is to be organically funny without being disrespectful

Sean O'Casey

Laughter is wine for the soul-laughter soft, or loud and deep, tinged through with seriousness. the hilarious declaration made by man that life is worth living.

Robert Conquest

The behavior of any bureaucratic organization can best be understood by assuming that it is controlled by a secret cabal of its enemies.

Russell Crowe

This is possibly the most shameful situation I've ever gotten myself in in my life, and I've done some pretty dumb things in my life. So to actually make a new No. 1 is spectacularly stupid.

Sarah Palin

All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years.

Wendy Liebman

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.

Willard Scott

Bryant Gumbel's ego has applied for statehood. And if it's accepted, it will be the fifth-largest.

Kellie Pickler

I thought Europe was a country?

Siouxsie Sioux

You can't take anything like that seriously. I mean, sex is pretty hilarious anyway.

Emo Philips

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Umberto Eco

A transposable aphorism is a malaise of the urge to be witty, or in other words, a maxim that is untroubled by the fact that the opposite of what it says is equally true so long as it appears to be funny.

Truman Capote

The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.

Virginia Woolf

The history of most women is hidden either by silence, or by flourishes and ornaments that amount to silence.

Woody Allen

Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.

Woody Allen

What if the worst is true? What if there's no God, and you only go around once, and that's it? Don't you want to be a part of the experience? You know, what the hell? It's not all a drag, and I'm thinking to myself: Geez! I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get and just enjoy it while it lasts. And, you know, after-who knows? Maybe there is something, nobody really knows. I know that maybe is a very slim reed to hang your whole life on, but that's the best we have.

Woody Allen

I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.

Woody Allen

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.

Woody Allen

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

Woody Allen

The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.