Famous Quotes & Sayings

E. B. White

A writer is like a bean plant, he has his little day, and then he gets stringy.

Jay London

I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.

Tim Robbins

I started getting on my feet and clowning around, and they ended up putting me in a play when I was 12. And I was hooked.

George Burns

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

Jimmy Durante

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

Jay London

I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

Mike Epps

With Ice Cube they ain't no telling. He might have one cocked and loaded, ready to bust. We might do The Sunday, two old men sitting around the house waiting on the social security check.

Kathy Griffin

The fact that that really is my life, and that my husband Matt - who you see on the show - is like the most normal guy in the world.

Harpo Marx

I was the same kind of father as I was a harpist - I played by ear.

Steven Wright

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

Ben Stiller

I just watched Paul Michael Glaser. He was the reason I wanted to do the movie because as a kid I was such a big fan of his. I watched all the episodes and tried to get a feeling for what he was doing.

Ben Stiller

When you come out with a film, hopefully it gets presented to the public in the right way so people aren't getting something they don't expect.

Ring Lardner

I've known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant.

Ring Lardner

An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve.

Ring Lardner

No one, ever, wrote anything as well even after one drink as he would have done with out it.

Ring Lardner

A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.

Wanda Sykes

But I understand that relationship; I understand how the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship has so many conflicts because it's so forced.

But as the times change, people change, and so do their tastes, so I try to understand what the public wants, what they require.

Groucho Marx

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.

If you are doing well, it is an incredible lifestyle.

Tim Robbins

I wouldn't even get elected. I'd probably deck a couple of people, too which would not play very well with the national media.

Andy Richter

Since she got a cause and stopped being funny. I think she's real funny, but lately it's all been hearts and flowers and tears and saving teenagers and creating a role model. And that ain't funny. No giggles there.

Dana Carvey

I had written in another draft a completely different kind of fight, but they said they couldn't afford to shoot it. They needed a fight scene, though, so I was told to put a fight scene in, but not the one I had written.

Joan Rivers

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

Dana Carvey

I can tell you now what I couldn't tell the studio then: Purely in case the movie was like a monster smash, I would have gotten too recognized.

Josh Billings

Genius ain't nothing more than elegant common sense.

Wanda Sykes

I don't know if it's a woman's tone of voice or training. Maybe guys are like, When I go home, I have to hear it. Right now I'm at work.

Chevy Chase

Most people just want you to acknowledge that they did recognize you. Those who want an autograph or a photo is a different matter altogether.

Josh Billings

One of rarest things that a man ever does is to do the best he can.

One feature of our life that is very evident is the apathy of most young persons, which in extreme cases is manifested as delinquency.

Mitch Hedberg

I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist.

Steven Wright

Sponges grow in the ocean. This bothers me. How deep would it be if they didn't?

Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met!