Famous Quotes & Sayings

Bruce Vilanch

Sometimes there are people you can't make jokes about because the situation is embarrassing, especially if they're going to be there. It's just cruel.

Don Adams

Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all. I did movie star impressions as a kid in high school. Somehow they just got out of hand.

Bruce Vilanch

I've never had to write a spec script.

Todd Barry

I've never read Ulysses. Why do you ask?

Jonathan Katz

The sterile, arid environment created by truly jarring and discordant signage and gargantuan billboards is a turnoff.

Tim Robbins

I started getting on my feet and clowning around, and they ended up putting me in a play when I was 12. And I was hooked.

Keenen Ivory Wayans

The worst thing that can happen is you shoot something six months before you release it because a whole lot can happen in six months.

Chevy Chase

The worst thing about Saturday Night Live now is that, in the last 10 to 15 years, they've grown to some 40 writers. We had seven. And seven actors.

Rachel Dratch

The Yale group was doing the Harold. So by our senior year we were trying to do the Harold. Again, we had no idea what we were doing. We had one guy in the group who was pretty experimental; he would kind of push us to do weird things. It was really fun, a great experience.

George Burns

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

Jerry Stiller

Anne is very forgiving. She doesn't care about money, being rich, or clothes. We never argued about finances.

Jerry Stiller

Anne hated the idea of putting me down in front of the audience.

Dick Smothers

Folk music was out there. Clubs were springing up and they were hot with the college kids.

Gilbert Gottfried

Well, I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.

Joe Rogan

People want their 15 minutes and are willing to do anything to get it.

Jimmy Durante

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

Jay London

I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

Andy Richter

Conan has to provide so much more talk than I do. He has to be interviewing. I get to sit there and if I don't say anything, there's no loss.

Paul Reubens

Look at me, I'm getting defensive about something that happened so many years ago, somebody said. I'll have to find out who that was and if he's still alive.

Chevy Chase

You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts.

Mike Epps

With Ice Cube they ain't no telling. He might have one cocked and loaded, ready to bust. We might do The Sunday, two old men sitting around the house waiting on the social security check.

Amy Poehler

There's a couple of enemies to improv, and one of them is editing; when you edit on TV it makes it seem like it's not really improv.

Al Franken

There's no liberal echo chamber in this country. There's a right-wing echo chamber. I want to create a countervailing echo chamber.

Jimmy Fallon

We tried to stay as far away from the players as I could. I mean, I don't play for the Red Sox. I didn't want to disrupt any of their joy.

Kathy Griffin

The fact that that really is my life, and that my husband Matt - who you see on the show - is like the most normal guy in the world.

Harpo Marx

In the fall of 1943 we brought home our second son, whom we named Alexander.

Harpo Marx

I was the same kind of father as I was a harpist - I played by ear.

Steven Wright

I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.

Steven Wright

The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.

Steven Wright

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

Steven Wright

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

Ben Stiller

I just watched Paul Michael Glaser. He was the reason I wanted to do the movie because as a kid I was such a big fan of his. I watched all the episodes and tried to get a feeling for what he was doing.

Ben Stiller

Even when I'm not directing, that doesn't stop Owen from having ideas for what I should be doing.