Famous Quotes & Sayings

Wanda Sykes

Back then, I was doing more of my impression of what a comic is supposed to do.

Chevy Chase

They can't make any of these talented young actors Fletch. You might as well make a movie called Chevy Chase.

Cheech Marin

Our first gig was a battle of the bands. We did 45 minutes of comedy and never played a note - and we won!

Cheech Marin

The reason we're so dangerous is because we're totally harmless.

W. C. Fields

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

W. C. Fields

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

Shelley Berman

Outside came in '60. The Edge in '61. All three made Gold, but the biggest seller was Inside.

Shelley Berman

So that this thing that aired in 1963 would result a few years later in personal bankruptcy, would result in having people be on edge with me, wondering when I'm going to blow up.

Lou Costello

A husband is what's left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed.

With Guard and Reserve units, you can end up with a lot of people from one part of the country dying in one day, and that gets people's attention.

Ben Stiller

We did the movie because we liked the script; everybody wanted to do the movie just to have fun, and that was the most rewarding part of the process.

We are deeply conscious of the fact that our north and west must be developed.

The people of Australia would be staggered to learn that Australia has no national development plan.

It is a great privilege for any man to become a member of the Senate.

The Australian people want to help build this country into a great nation. This budget... has not realized the capacity of the Australian people. It has underestimated them. It has let us down.

We must have as clear a picture as we can of the Australia that we want to achieve at the end of that time.

Where there is a will there is a way. And this must be the way not of compulsion but of cooperation... No government and no plan can succeed without it.

Victoria Jackson

It was the best job I ever had. I just left because my whole team was leaving and the new guys were coming.

Henny Youngman

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

Josh Billings

The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so.

Shelley Berman

Today's audiences are different only insomuch as today's people are different, and I do not think today's people are substantially different.

Orlando Jones

You give the guy an Image Award three years in a row and then turn on him like that? If that's the role they want to fulfill, they need to send a clearer message.

Orlando Jones

I walked in thinking, 'I have ten movies under my belt and now they want me to go back to making commercials?' I said, if I do that, I want it to be funny.

Orlando Jones

That was one of the things that interested me about the character. He doesn't want to be a hero, and has no real desire to save the earth or discover aliens. He's sniffing around looking to see what will fall in his lap.

George Burns

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.

Sam Kinison

It was like going to church, except Ozzy Osbourne was there.

Sam Kinison

I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.

Rachel Dratch

Yeah, and I remember that game Pitfall. That was my favorite. I heard there's a new one, too - so maybe I'll have to get back into it.

Damon Wayans

We have four beautiful children and some wonderful memories.

Damon Wayans

My kids have a competitive drive I never had growing up.

Damon Wayans

But my kids, my brothers' kids - they think about trying to top what we did.

Damon Wayans

Being a celebrity, I don't even have to talk.

Damon Wayans

And my marriage was perfect when I wasn't famous.