Quotes about fun
funny humor kids
Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital. Anthony Jeselnik
funny wall cancer
Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer.
funny jesus humor
Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.
funny girlfriend couple
A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'
funny mom couple
My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.
funny baby pain
You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.
funny dad father
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
funny mom brother
When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.
fun people retarded
People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people, but it's not. You really have to explain it to them.
fun husband men
A husband is a man who wishes he had as much fun when he goes on business trips as his wife thinks he does. Ann Landers
funny blessed dental
Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists.
funny motivational hilarious
Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.
funny children talking
If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else.
funny hilarious party
At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
funny friends country
One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closes friends; if they seem OK, then you're the one.
fun laughing unattractive
Nobody says you must laugh, but a sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the day.
fun argument persons
When a person begins to yell during an argument, it is a tip-off that he is unsure of himself.
fun grumpy ask-me
Don't ask me any questions right now. I'm grumpy and I'll probablly make fun of you. -Effie Kaligaris Ann Brashares
fun tired grumpy
Don't talk to me. I'm tired and grumpy and I'll probably make fun of you.
funny humor two
There are two kinds of people in this world. The kind who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don't.
fun adventure romance
She knew that when she got old it would be more fun to look back on a life of romance and adventure than a life of quiet habits. But looking back was easy. It was the doing that was painful. There were plenty of things she would like to look back on but wasn't willing to risk ...
funny hilarious humor
When your about to criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way when you criticize them you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes
fun talking
Talking to liberals is much more fun now that we have Lexis-Nexis. Ann Coulter
fun thinking trying
I love the question-and-answer. I love to see liberals try to thrash their way to a coherent argument. And actually, I think it's fun to debate.
funny travel thinking
The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there. Andy Borowitz
funny technology hours
Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted.
funny technology men
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.
funny cat technology
Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.
funny travel worry
Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.
funny technology giving
Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
funny technology people
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.
funny hater want
The Internet is for haters. Everyone wants to knock somebody down, but it's cool. Andy Cohen
fun thinking mind
In the case of 'The Housewives,' I call the 'Housewives' sociology of the rich. I think it's just fun to watch. It's guilt-free gossiping that you can have. It's like the modern-day soap opera, in my mind.