Famous Quotes & Sayings

George Carlin

I'm tired of hearing about innocent victims. It's fiction, If you live on this planet you're guilty, period, f*** you, next case, end of report. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt.

George Carlin

If I ever lose my mind I hope some honest person will find it and take it to Lost and Found.

George Carlin

Professional soldiers are people who die for a living.

George Carlin

There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.

George Carlin

Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason

George Carlin

I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for minor infractions: No Smoking, Stay Off the Grass, Keep Out, and they seem to work fairly well. I think we should also have signs for major crimes: Murder Strictly Prohibited, NO Raping People, Thank You for Not Kidnapping Anyone. It's certainly worth a try. I'm convinced Watergate would never have happened if there had just been a sign in the Oval Office that said, Malfeasance of Office Is Strictly Against the Law, or Thank You for Not Undermining the Constitution.

George Carlin

These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people.

George Carlin

Israeli murderers are called "commandos," Arab commandos are called "terrorists."

George Carlin

Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.

George Carlin

I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?

Frederick Douglass

Mr. Lincoln was not only a great President, but a great man - too great to be small in anything. In his company I was never in any way reminded of my humble origin, or of my unpopular color.

Frank Spotnitz

Usually monsters are some aspect of human behavior or humanity at large.

Frank Sinatra

[Answering the phone] Hello, this is a recording, you've dialed the right number, now hang up and don't do it again.

Fernando Pessoa

I belong to a generation - assuming that this generation includes others besides me - that lost its faith in the gods of the old religions as well as in the gods of modern nonreligions. I reject Jehova as I reject humanity.

Felix Baumgartner

When I was standing there on top of the world, you become so humble, you do not think about breaking records anymore, you do not think about gaining scientific data. The only thing you want is to come back alive

Felix Baumgartner

When you stand up there on top of the world, you become so humble,

Flannery O'Connor

[To] know oneself is, above all, to know what one lacks. It is to measure oneself against Truth, and not the other way around. The first product of self-knowledge is humility . . .

Flannery O'Connor

I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.

Ferran Adria

Friends are really important, especially when you've had the successes that I've had. I've gone really far in my career, so they're the ones that keep you humble, keep your feet on the ground.

Henning Mankell

He was so excessively polite that Wallendar suspected he had endured many humiliations in his life.

Henri Bergson

Genius is that which forces the inertia of humanity to learn.

Henri Cartier-Bresson

Human faces are such a world!

Henri Frederic Amiel

The immense majority of our species are candidates for humanity, and nothing more.

Henri Frederic Amiel

True humility is contentment.

Henri Frederic Amiel

Men don't achieve truth because they lack humility and love of truth. They won't criticize their own beliefs. Truth would overwhelm them.

Helen Keller

Poverty is the fundamental cause of most of the physical, moral and economic ills of humanity.

Cat Stevens

Communal well-being is central to human life.

Catharine Beecher

To open avenues to political place and power for all classes of women would cause [the] humble labors of the family and schoo1 to be still more undervalued and shunned.

Cassandra Clare

I don't do what I'm told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely.

George Eliot

Human experience is usually paradoxical.

George Eliot

In so complex a thing as human nature, we must consider it is hard to find rules without exception.

Gary Player

I've traveled more than any human being who's ever lived.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Injections are the best thing ever invented for feeding doctors.