Famous Quotes & Sayings

Mae West

You are never too old to become younger!

Mae West

Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes.

Mae West

Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired.

Mae West

If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!

Mae West

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Mae West

Everyone has the right to run his own life- even if you're heading for a crash. What I'm against is blind flying.

Mark Twain

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

Jerry Seinfeld

I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?

Jeff Foxworthy

It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.

Jackie Gleason

The best part of you ran down your mother's legs.

Eugene Field

He is so mean, he won't let his little baby have more than one measle at a time.

Erma Bombeck

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

Fanny Burney

You have sensible women here [in England] but then, they are very devils--censorious, uncharitable, sarcastic--the women in Scotland have twice--thrice their freedom, with all their virtue--and are very conversable and agreeable--their educations are more finished.

F. H. Bradley

His mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it.

Eugene McCarthy

I would not want to put him in charge of snake control in Ireland.

Ford Frick

Avoid sarcasm. Don't insist on the last word.

George Mikes

Was he joking? Was he being sarcastic? Aggressive? Impertinent? Or just courteous? There was no telling from his impassive face. What a country, he thought despairingly. In Russia you always knew. If a man made a stern face he was threatening; if he was laughing uproariously, he was joking.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded.

George Orwell

The secret of a successful restaurant is sharp knives.

George Carlin

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Frederic Raphael

Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time.

George Eliot

Destiny stands by sarcastic with our dramatis personae folded in her hand.

Fiona Apple

I got into therapy in the fifth grade because I said in a sarcastic way that I was going to kill myself, and they didn't get it then. Nothing's changed.

Cassandra Clare

very funny my sarcastic friend

Cassandra Clare

Hey, pretty thing," he said. "What's in the bag?" "Holy water," said Jace, reappearing beside her as if he'd been conjured up like a genie. A sarcastic blond genie with a bad attitude. "Oooh, a Shadowhunter," said the vampire. "Scary." With a wink he melted back into the crowd. "Vampires are such prima donnas," Magnus sighed from the doorway. "Honestly, I don't know why I have these parties." "Because of your cat," Clary reminded him. Magnus perked up. "That's true. Chairman Meow deserves my every effort.

Cassandra Clare

A sarcastic blond genie with a bad attitude. -Clary, pg.243-

Fred Allen

He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes.

Fred Allen

He's so small, he's a waste of skin.

Fred Allen

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

George Jean Nathan

The triumph of sugar over diabetes.

J. C. Watts

Death and taxes may be inevitable, but they shouldn't be related.

Franz Grillparzer

Critics are reprimanded when they get sarcastic. How absurd! Is the torch of criticism supposed to shine without burning?

George Will

Creative semantics is the key to contemporary government; it consists of talking in strange tongues lest the public learn the inevitable inconveniently early.