Famous Quotes & Sayings

You're just as witty as you feel, just as witty as you feel inside.

Ayn Rand

The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt.

Al Capone

Vote early and vote often.

We did not actually get to witness the reunion.

Baltasar Gracian

Many get the repute of being witty but thereby lose the credit of being sensible. Jest has its little hour, seriousness should have all the rest.

Within about two weeks, we'll have made those decisions.

is not going to be a witch hunt; it's a fact-finding mission.

Dylan Moran

The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty

e. e. cummings

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

Abraham Lincoln

Tell the truth and you won't have so much to remember

Andy Borowitz

It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.

Aesop

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

Albert Einstein

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one way; wisdom is looking in both directions anyway.

Alexander Pope

I have more zeal than wit.

Dorothy Richardson

Women who are not living ought to spend all their time cracking jokes. In a rotten society women grow witty; making a heaven while they wait.

Donald Barthelme

HENRY: Now it is necessary to court her, and win her, and put on this clean dressing gown, and cut my various nails, and drink something that will kill the millions of germs in my mouth, and say something flattering, and be witty and bonny, and hale and kinky, all just to ease this wrinkle in the groin. It seems a high price.

Douglas William Jerrold

Malice blunts the point of wit.

Sydney J. Harris

Democracy is the only system that persists in asking the powers that be whether they are the powers that ought to be.

Robert A. Heinlein

Nothing uses up alcohol faster than political argument.

Tom Stoppard

The days of the digital watch are numbered.

Tom Stoppard

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

Tina Fey

Either way, everything will be fine. But if you have an opinion, please feel free to offer it to me through the gap in the door of a public restroom. Everyone else does.

Tina Fey

You have to remember that actors are human beings. Which is hard sometimes because they look so much better than human beings.

Tina Fey

Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

Tina Fey

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.

Tina Fey

In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.

Tina Fey

Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one.

Tina Fey

(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)

Tina Fey

It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good. I don’t like Chinese food, but I don’t write articles trying to prove it doesn’t exist.

Tina Fey

Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.

Tina Fey

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

Tim Ferriss

What I don't like is snark for snark's sake. If you are going to make fun of me, at least be witty while doing it.

Thomas Hobbes

If I read as many books as most men do, I would be as dull-witted as they are.