Bob Monkhouse
Bob Monkhouse
Robert Alan "Bob" Monkhouse, OBE was an English entertainer...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth1 June 1928
Bob Monkhouse quotes about
wife funny-marriage house
I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.
sex years wife
With my wife it was sex, sex, sex...Yes, three times in 35 years.
funny humor wife
My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
wife funny-marriage use
I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.
horse funny-relationship wife
I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.
funny-love mother weekend
My wife said, 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said, 'Why?' And she said, 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already.'
real home clubs
I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.
dad sleep passengers
I'd like to die like my old dad, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming like his passengers.
thinking saws phrases
I saw a specialist who asked me 'Are you familiar with the phrase faecal impaction?'. I said I think I saw that one with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas.
creative done want
I'll never stop working. I want to die in the saddle. A day is wasted for me if I haven't done something even mildly creative.
people sunglasses questions-and-answers
If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
age today degrees
It got up to 94 degrees today – that's pretty good at my age.
golf boss spots
You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He's the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, "oops!"
funny humor college
Dulwich College takes me back after seventy years: My Mum must have written one hell of a sick note!