Bob Monkhouse
Bob Monkhouse
Robert Alan "Bob" Monkhouse, OBE was an English entertainer...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth1 June 1928
laughter nice funeral
Although I have always loved the noise of laughter, I really can't fear the coming of quiet. As for funerals, I rather like them. Such nice things are always said about the deceased, I feel sad that they had to miss hearing it all by just a few days.
funny-marriage pay investment
Marriage is an investment which pays dividends if you pay interest.
funny humor laughing
They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.
home son drug
I came home and found that my son was taking drugs - my very best ones too!
funny humor college
Dulwich College takes me back after seventy years: My Mum must have written one hell of a sick note!
funny humor flames
A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away.
winner knows sinner
I know I'm a sinner, but make me a winner!
funny humor guarantees-that
I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
age today degrees
It got up to 94 degrees today – that's pretty good at my age.
sex years wife
With my wife it was sex, sex, sex...Yes, three times in 35 years.
funny radio comedy
I got my start in silent radio.
sex distance enjoy
I can still enjoy sex at 74 - I live at 75, so it's no distance.
dad sleep passengers
I'd like to die like my old dad, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming like his passengers.
funny-love mother weekend
My wife said, 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said, 'Why?' And she said, 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already.'