Bob Monkhouse
Bob Monkhouse
Robert Alan "Bob" Monkhouse, OBE was an English entertainer...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth1 June 1928
Bob Monkhouse quotes about
mom mother baby
My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.
funny humor laughing
They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.
laughing comedian wanted
I told them I wanted to be a comedian, and they laughed; I became a comedian, no one's laughing now
wife funny-marriage use
I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.
horse funny-relationship wife
I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.
silence golden silence-is
Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.
funny sex humor
I can remember when safe sex meant a padded headboard.
growing-up compulsory optional
Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.
funny-life bad-day intelligent
Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?
funny humor wife
My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
laughter nice funeral
Although I have always loved the noise of laughter, I really can't fear the coming of quiet. As for funerals, I rather like them. Such nice things are always said about the deceased, I feel sad that they had to miss hearing it all by just a few days.
home son drug
I came home and found that my son was taking drugs - my very best ones too!
funny humor college
Dulwich College takes me back after seventy years: My Mum must have written one hell of a sick note!
winner knows sinner
I know I'm a sinner, but make me a winner!