Bob Monkhouse
Bob Monkhouse
Robert Alan "Bob" Monkhouse, OBE was an English entertainer...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth1 June 1928
wife funny-marriage house
I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.
drawing boards inventor
When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did he go back to?
funny humor cat
A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded: 'Take me to the canaries'.
creative done want
I'll never stop working. I want to die in the saddle. A day is wasted for me if I haven't done something even mildly creative.
thinking saws phrases
I saw a specialist who asked me 'Are you familiar with the phrase faecal impaction?'. I said I think I saw that one with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas.
real home clubs
I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.
father icicles drink
My father was ruined by hard drink - he sat on an icicle.
laughing comedian wanted
I told them I wanted to be a comedian, and they laughed; I became a comedian, no one's laughing now
golf boss spots
You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He's the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, "oops!"