Bob Monkhouse
Bob Monkhouse
Robert Alan "Bob" Monkhouse, OBE was an English entertainer...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth1 June 1928
Bob Monkhouse quotes about
dad sleep passengers
I'd like to die like my old dad, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming like his passengers.
people sunglasses questions-and-answers
If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
funny humor flames
A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away.
funny radio comedy
I got my start in silent radio.
funny-marriage pay investment
Marriage is an investment which pays dividends if you pay interest.
girl real real-happiness
Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money
father funny-dad volvo
My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.
archer paper toilets
The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.
funny humor homeless
Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?
funny-retirement age retiring
What do gardeners do when they retire?
mom mother baby
My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.
funny humor laughing
They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.
laughing comedian wanted
I told them I wanted to be a comedian, and they laughed; I became a comedian, no one's laughing now
wife funny-marriage use
I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.