Christopher Moore
Christopher Moore
dog hurt children
And I'll have you know that if you hurt my son again, if he so much as sighs sadly over his coffee, I will hire a man, a Russian, probably, to hunt you down and rip all that shiny black hair from your head, then break your skinny arms and legs, and set you on fire, and then put you out with a hammer. And should there be children from your beastly rutting, I shall have the Russian man cut them to tiny pieces and feed them to Madame Jacob's dog. because, although he may be only a worthless, simpleminded, libertine artist, Lucien is my favorite, and I will not have him hurt. Do you understand?
horrible plans chosen
That's a horrible plan." "Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.
girl mean awkward
Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a girl's purpose.
men personality talent
It was sometimes difficult to reconcile a man's talents with his personality.
girl drawing air
I like a girl with a substantial bottom,' said Renoir, drawing in the air the size bottom he preferred.
mother whistler
Whistler,' Manet called. 'How's your mother?
mean pieces earnest
Just because he was pretty didn't mean he couldn't be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest hickory
blessed meek
Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say "attaboy".
men thinking weak-man
This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I'm asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men?
irritation life-is
Life is an irritation.
children hero angel
The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies.
evil want naked
She's evil. Evil, evil, evil. I want to see her naked.
believe
Why understand when you can believe?
alive spirit
Anger is the spirits telling you that you are alive.