Daniel Tosh
Daniel Tosh
Daniel Dwight Tosh is an American comedian, television host, actor, writer, and executive producer. He is known for his deliberately offensive and controversial style of black comedy, as the host of the Comedy Central television show Tosh.0 and as the star of stand-up comedy tours and specials...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 May 1975
CityBoppard, Germany
CountryUnited States of America
cutting personality want
I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
funny children six-months
I go to the dentist every six months, I get a cleaning, so... I'm fortunate enough that those fluoride treatments as a child worked. Not getting any cavities.
funny hbo people
It's the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central, and they've been good to me.
cute kids thinking
The only advice I have for youth is to date outside your race. I just think it's so cute when I see little kids in interracial relationships; it makes me feel like I'm watching a commercial.
tests audience materials
I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.
writing people trying
People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes.
television shows i-can
I can say that. I have a television show.
morning noon apologizing
I apologize if there's a Parkinson's painter in the audience. I assume you do your best work in the morning. Probably gets abstract by noon.
funny speak-english heaven
I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.
funny men virgins
If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
clever perfect
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
funny stupid struggle
Don't you love it when people in school are like, “I'm a bad test taker”? You mean, you're stupid. Oh, you struggle with that part where we find out what you know? Oh. No, no, I can totally relate. See, because I'm a brilliant painter, minus my God-awful brushstrokes. Oh, how the masterpiece is crystal up here[points to head], but once paint hits canvas, I develop Parkinson's.
dream cereal puffins
You should never eat when you're on the toilet. "But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk!" That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.
husband fall men
Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.