Daniel Tosh
Daniel Tosh
Daniel Dwight Tosh is an American comedian, television host, actor, writer, and executive producer. He is known for his deliberately offensive and controversial style of black comedy, as the host of the Comedy Central television show Tosh.0 and as the star of stand-up comedy tours and specials...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 May 1975
CityBoppard, Germany
CountryUnited States of America
too-much complaining seasons
Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I; that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.
party names tea
Even the klan revamped their image by losing the hoods and changing their name to the Tea Party.
girl complaining body
Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.
hardest persons
The hardest working person in showbusiness has never been or ever will be a 'famous person'.
tonight lines apologizing
If I offend anybody tonight, I apologize. That's not my intention. I'm not going to guess what your personal line of decency is; I cross my own from time to time - it's how I know I still have one.
tattoo thinking years
I think if you're gonna get a tattoo, just get one: the words, 'I'm dumb.' That's it. That way in 10 years, when you go, 'Why did I get this?,' you can be like, 'Oh, I'm dumb!'
cutting personality looks
I'm all for women who get plastic surgery, because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance — fakeWe have shows like Extreme Make-Over: “I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
cutting personality want
I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
tests audience materials
I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.
television shows i-can
I can say that. I have a television show.
morning noon apologizing
I apologize if there's a Parkinson's painter in the audience. I assume you do your best work in the morning. Probably gets abstract by noon.
clever perfect
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
funny stupid struggle
Don't you love it when people in school are like, “I'm a bad test taker”? You mean, you're stupid. Oh, you struggle with that part where we find out what you know? Oh. No, no, I can totally relate. See, because I'm a brilliant painter, minus my God-awful brushstrokes. Oh, how the masterpiece is crystal up here[points to head], but once paint hits canvas, I develop Parkinson's.
dream cereal puffins
You should never eat when you're on the toilet. "But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk!" That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.