Daniel Tosh
Daniel Tosh
Daniel Dwight Tosh is an American comedian, television host, actor, writer, and executive producer. He is known for his deliberately offensive and controversial style of black comedy, as the host of the Comedy Central television show Tosh.0 and as the star of stand-up comedy tours and specials...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 May 1975
CityBoppard, Germany
CountryUnited States of America
gynecologists mouths dentist
A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.
new-orleans sometimes feels
I feel bad sometimes because I secretly hope New Orleans gets nailed again.
smell facts balls
Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.
love-you heart butterfly
When you're in young love your pulse pounds, your palms sweat, and there are butterflies in your stomach. It's like diarrhea for your heart.
girl education father
My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had... so he sent me to a girls school.
jesus crazy hate
Does everybody have their WWJD bracelets on? 'Cause I was wearing my bracelet recently, and I was in the movie theater, and this guy's cell phone went off - don't you just hate that? Then he picked it up, 'Hey, how's it going? I'm in a movie.' And I'm like, 'Hey! Get off the phone!' And he's like, 'Mind your own business.' And I almost went crazy, but then I looked at my bracelet: what would Jesus do? So I lit him on fire and sent him to Hell.
too-much complaining seasons
Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I; that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.
party names tea
Even the klan revamped their image by losing the hoods and changing their name to the Tea Party.
girl complaining body
Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.
hardest persons
The hardest working person in showbusiness has never been or ever will be a 'famous person'.
tonight lines apologizing
If I offend anybody tonight, I apologize. That's not my intention. I'm not going to guess what your personal line of decency is; I cross my own from time to time - it's how I know I still have one.
tattoo thinking years
I think if you're gonna get a tattoo, just get one: the words, 'I'm dumb.' That's it. That way in 10 years, when you go, 'Why did I get this?,' you can be like, 'Oh, I'm dumb!'
cutting personality looks
I'm all for women who get plastic surgery, because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance — fakeWe have shows like Extreme Make-Over: “I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
cutting personality want
I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.