Daniel Tosh
Daniel Tosh
Daniel Dwight Tosh is an American comedian, television host, actor, writer, and executive producer. He is known for his deliberately offensive and controversial style of black comedy, as the host of the Comedy Central television show Tosh.0 and as the star of stand-up comedy tours and specials...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 May 1975
CityBoppard, Germany
CountryUnited States of America
sex hair mutation
Much like Down Syndrome, red hair is a genetic mutation, and it occurs when a human has unprotected sex with a clown.
modern dunces caps
The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.
running country fun
Women can do anything men can do. Except math, chess, running, jumping, lifting stuff, fixing things, making money, hockey, surfing, driving, making decisions, being tall, taking out the garbage, tipping, fishing, being funny (on purpose), reading a map, listening to good bands, writing, running the country, inventing anything important, or being fun to hang out with.
kids drug causes
Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.
ideas voice speaking-spanish
I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.
couple trying comedy
Comedy Central wanted to do a show with me, I had a couple failures under my belt with them already, but they still wanted to try something else. They came to me and said they wanted to do something that was internet focused and created original content on their site, so they could compete with the funny or dies and what not. So that was the premise, and they gave us a small amount of money, $5000, and from there it turned into the show.
kids racism black
Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.
sleep sunrise
I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.
writing rapper southern
Oh, southern rappers... so hard to write a rhyme when you only know 30 words.
sleep gay night
This is what I say to the most conservative person that's so terrified of gay marriage becoming legal. Just because the state says it's legal, it's not like God's going to let them into Heaven. So you can still sleep sound every night knowing that goal line defense is up at the pearly gates.
funny beautiful people
I wanna get rich enough in life that I can afford to release a dozen doves every time I walk into a room. You know people would be like, 'Did you see that guy come out of the bathroom? The one with doves, it was beautiful.'
jobs college laughing
I graduated from college and went on one job interview and was laughing in my own head because I wouldn't hire me.
funny guy asian
That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
cheater funny-irish get-away
Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.