Dave Attell
Dave Attell
Dave Attellis an American stand-up comedian, writer and actor, best known as the host of Comedy Central's Insomniac with Dave Attell and The Gong Show with Dave Attell. Born in Queens, New York, he grew up in Rockville Centre, New York with his cousins the Small family and now lives in New York City...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth18 January 1965
CityQueens, NY
CountryUnited States of America
couple firsts sometimes
Sometimes it's hard to tell if a joke is working or not for the first couple of minutes.
tongue alarms ass
You know what wakes me up? A tongue in the ass. There is no alarm clock on that one, you are up, you are shaking, you are in a karate stance.....the day has begun.
crystals teeth helping
Let's say you're in a situation where crystal meth can help you. Like, I don't know, you have too many teeth.
smoking camels three
I smoke so much. Three packs a day... I went to the bathroom, a camel came out of my ass.
cuddling lines fine
Don't get me wrong, I like to cuddle. But there is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can't get away.
funny-relationship
Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.
birthday daughter party
I've never had a surprise birthday party. I've had every other type of surprise. I've had surprise beatings, surprise drug tests, surprise daughter I think.
garbage
Why do they collect garbarge at 5am? Why? It's garbage. It's not going to go bad again.
chicken combine eat
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish, ... You know what you should do? Combine them ... eat a penguin.
drinking order doctors
I gotta quit smoking, doctor's orders, and the drinking, court orders.
tvs
I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.
laughter boys breathing
Everyone was laughin'. Even that deaf mute boy was breathing heavy and pointing at me. Which is laughter to their kind.
schemes
I have no grand scheme.