Dave Attell
Dave Attell
Dave Attellis an American stand-up comedian, writer and actor, best known as the host of Comedy Central's Insomniac with Dave Attell and The Gong Show with Dave Attell. Born in Queens, New York, he grew up in Rockville Centre, New York with his cousins the Small family and now lives in New York City...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth18 January 1965
CityQueens, NY
CountryUnited States of America
ears soundtracks music-is
I feel like soundtrack music is almost like seeing the movie again, but with my ears.
thinking winning ifs
I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something.
talking punishment car
Capital punishment, that thing scares me, it really does. I was talking to my friend about the electric chair, and he starts freakin' out. He's like 'the electric chair? That's too good for these people. That's too good for them'. Alright, how do we make the electric chair worse? How about this? They have to pedal a car battery to their own head. Is that ok? Is that enough, Mr. Hitler?
thinking drunk behind-you
Here's a tip: never get drunk while wearing a hooded sweatshirt. You will eventually think there's someone right behind you.
laughing sound watches
I have a lot of pot tendencies. I'm always late, I laugh for no reason, I watch Jeopardy! with the sound off and make up my own questions.
drunk littles pancakes
I wanna get a little drunk, but I also want some pancakes.
tvs
I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.
ejaculation fancy mature
Pre-mature ejaculation. Let's talk about it. Pre-mature ejaculation. That's a pretty fancy term for, Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before.
laughter boys breathing
Everyone was laughin'. Even that deaf mute boy was breathing heavy and pointing at me. Which is laughter to their kind.
schemes
I have no grand scheme.
laughing mind crowds
I don't mind a crowd's not laughing; it's the groans that slow down the show.
fighting
Once you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight.
choices matter tvs
I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials. I'm not an actor though, so I don't really have much choice in the matter.
people
Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.