Dave Attell
Dave Attell
Dave Attellis an American stand-up comedian, writer and actor, best known as the host of Comedy Central's Insomniac with Dave Attell and The Gong Show with Dave Attell. Born in Queens, New York, he grew up in Rockville Centre, New York with his cousins the Small family and now lives in New York City...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth18 January 1965
CityQueens, NY
CountryUnited States of America
choices matter tvs
I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials. I'm not an actor though, so I don't really have much choice in the matter.
laughing mind crowds
I don't mind a crowd's not laughing; it's the groans that slow down the show.
fighting
Once you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight.
tattoo long people
For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended.
reality tvs watches
I don't watch reality TV.
reality imagination life-is
I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.
writing comic jokes
I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.
funny baby cousin
My cousin had a baby and I was watching her breastfeed for a couple of bucks, and I'll tell you ladies: it's amazing.
funny humor aspirin
Aspirin will not bring dead hookers back to life.
funny reading humor
I'm sitting in the bus station, minding my own business, reading 'Ta-Da!' magazine; a magazine by and for gay magicians, but that's a different story.
funny humor drug
I used to do drugs, but that was way back there.
water trying president
It's a horrible economy but I'm trying to do my part. I just bought a new shower curtain it has all the presidents on it. Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with all the presidents staring at you? And when the water hits them it looks like they're crying.
drunk littles pancakes
I wanna get a little drunk, but I also want some pancakes.
girlfriend sometimes said
I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming No, that's not what I said!