David Letterman
David Letterman
David Michael Lettermanis an American former television talk show host, comedian, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth12 April 1947
CityIndianapolis, IN
CountryUnited States of America
David Letterman quotes about
inspirational holiday airports
Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are.
differences people wish
According to a new survey, people who get divorced die early. People who stay married live longer. The difference is they just wish they were dead.
sleep thinking nsa
Here's what we know about Santa. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good. I think he's with the NSA.
nudists pants
You'll never catch a nudist with his pants down.
wall phones two
I wish the iPhone people would design one that's black and has two pieces, and it plugs into the wall and you can pick one piece up and talk into it. I tell you, the whole time I had one of those old-fashioned plug-in phones, not once did I misplace it.
children your-children work-day
Bring Your Child to Work Day -- that's how we got George W. Bush.
funny travel land
Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water.
central-park sparrows today
I saw a robin redbreast in Central Park today, but it turned out to be a sparrow with an exit wound.
mean thinking guy
George W. Bush has a new campaign slogan: "A reformer with results." I don't know what it means [but] I think it's better than his old campaign slogan: "A dumb guy with connections.
jobs fun beer
I knew that if I woke up hung over, I couldn't do the best possible job on the show, so I had to quit. Also, I'd consumed a lot of beer for a lot of years, and I thought, That's enough. I've had my fun and I'm glad I quit.
footage saddam showing tv
No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney.