Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
Demetri Martin quotes about
jumping crawling easier
Jumping jacks are easier to do than crawling jacks.
night lasts stories
When telling a story about how wasted you were last night, stop.
men enemy target
It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.
multiple-choice choices tests
When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.
sports real games
To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.
men guy badminton
One thing you never hear is Man that guy is good at badminton.
thinking ties language
I think the most annoying language is a tie between all the ones I don't know how to speak.
vampire gears cleaning
It turns out dentists don't like it very much when you show up for a cleaning in full vampire gear.
horse college men
There is also a beast, a beast of strange dimensions. He has the head of a horse and the body of a man who needs a lot of attention. He represents me in college: I was a dork-ataur.
sexy scotch tape
If you want to feel less sexy put scotch tape on your nipples.
waiting important helpful
It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.
drinking house sleepovers
There is a fine line between a sleepover and just drinking way too much at someone else's house.
crazy nails looks
Use crazy glue and nails to turn a rocking chair into just a chair that looks like a rocking chair.
jesus people example
I like when people wear a WWJD bracelet, because it's like an example of the first thing Jesus wouldn't do, probably.