Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
Demetri Martin quotes about
funny humor months
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
funny humor saws
I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.
ties bows rattlesnakes
Everybody knew that you should never provoke a rattlesnake, much less tie it into a bow. But that didn't stop Judd. What did stop him was the rattlesnake.
funny nice dirty
My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.
funny humor opposites
One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like "hey, there's an asshole."
funny humor waterfalls
Canoe + waterfall = I don't go camping anymore.
funny humor car
My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but... what a dork.
funny thinking ideas
Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.
funny humor listening
I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.
home tire flats
A mobile home with a flat tire is a home.
two people internet
It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.
paper towels firsts
Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
coffee cups bras
Coffee is like a bra. 3 cups is one too many.
gay fighting men
It's hard to know what's gay in life. Boxing. That's two men fighting over a belt.