Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
party thinking numbers
Palindromes are the number one conversation stopper, like party killer, I think I've ever seen.
running numbers machines
I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.
funny im-sorry humor
When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.
annoying know-it-all persons
A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.
hipster gay focus
I'm very hip-oriented. I focus on hips in my comedy - probably more than any other hipster comic who is out there hipping today. My hips, other hips. I work with my hips a great deal. That is what I do. But not in a gay way.
life bookstores mystery-novels
If I had a bookstore I would make all the mystery novels hard to find.
sports fun swimming
Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is.
interesting refrigerators magnet
Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
jesus funny-christmas shopping
I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents back at my apartment, I was halfway through wrapping them, and I realized, 'Damn, I used the wrong wrapping paper.' The paper I used said, 'Happy Birthday.' I didn't want to waste it, so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
location toys adults
It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location.
space eyebrows space-between
Relationships, like eyebrows, are better when there is space between them.
moving school law
When I dropped out [from a law school], everybody was disappointed. But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. Before that, I never realized how much I sought other people's approval. Once I figured that out, I was free to move on and seek the approval of other people, in comedy clubs and showbiz meetings.
summer location different
I learned this summer that peeing in the pool and peeing INTO the pool are very different things. Location, Location, Location.
running games tennis
Game, set, match equals tennis. Set, match, run equals arson.