Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
earthquakes wind chimes
Wind chimes are also earthquake chimes.
names wish would-be
I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.
teaching guy problem
You always hear about the guy who was raised by wolves. You never hear about the guy who was raised by the guy who was raised by wolves. The problem is, you have a non-wolf imparting wolf teachings.
thinking drawing trying
I call it 'new forms'. When you're starting out, they ask you to do four or five minute sets, but once you're a headliner, you do like 90 minutes. I try to think of different things to divvy up the show, like doing drawings, playing music... I gotta carry the show, that's the problem.
thinking tough-times care
I care about politics, but I have a tough time making comedy out of it. I was so happy to have a chance to be on The Daily Show, and I think Jon Stewart's so funny... but mostly in my own comedy, I care about less relevant things.
sports book kids
The question is, 'how bad at sports were you as a kid?' I grew up near where they film Jersey Shore. If you weren't tan, muscular, and book-averse, you were a dork and a nerd and a geek and stuff. I remember being into Gary Larsen, Stephen Wright, Peter Sellers...
numbers thanks millions
You can say 'Thanks,' and you can say 'Thanks a Million' - but any number in between?..
turtles sticker knows
I wanna put stickers on turtles... I don't know why.
mysterious-ways lord sneak
The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak.
special albums needs
You need an audience to help you figure out what's working and what's worth putting on your album or your special - or even just what's worth touring with.
simple thinking glasses
I was thinking how strange it is that water is one of the best, simplest things on this planet, and still with a simple glass of water you can neutralize so many of the greatest technological advances that we provide. Like with my blackberry, I can get in touch with so many people, but if I dip it in a small glass of water I'm completely disconnected.
car buying advertising
When I'm buying car insurance I ask myself, 'Which company has the most annoying and relentless commercials?'
interesting would-be ifs
It would be interesting if Elvis were reincarnated as an Elvis impersonator.
new-york mean want-something
I live in New York and there are a lot of famous... pizzerias in my neighborhood, it's really hard to find one that isn't famous. Which sucks sometimes, you know what I mean, sometimes I don't want all that glitz and glamour, I just want something delicious, you know? I don't need a celebrity in my mouth, Ray's Up And Coming Pizza would be fine.