Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
night amputees twister
The other night I was playing twister with some amputees.
fire giving arms
If you happen to catch on fire during the show, do not panic or wave your arms around or scream or we wil give something to panic and wave you arms around and scream about.
queens kings men
Checkers taught me that a King is a man with another man on top of him. But life taught me that that's actually called a Queen.
funny thinking ideas
Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.
home tire flats
A mobile home with a flat tire is a home.
funny issues kites
I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"
thinking interesting rhyme
I think it's interesting that cologne rhymes with alone.
girl bulletproof-vest sweaters
A lifevest protects you from drowning and a bulletproof vest protects you from getting shot, and a sweater vest protects you from pretty girls.
games people different
Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.
break-through rocks paper
Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word. Paper sucks.
team there-is-no-i-in-team vertical
There is no I in Team, unless you count the vertical part of the T.
happiness pursuit-of-happiness pursuit
The Pursuit of Happiness: It sure seems to like a good chase, doesn't it?
I don't have to kill myself, time is going to do that.
song liking-someone
There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.