Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor thinking
There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.
funny humor laughing
Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.
funny humor months
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
funny humor saws
I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.
funny humor waterfalls
Canoe + waterfall = I don't go camping anymore.
funny humor car
My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but... what a dork.
funny humor firsts
I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word "dictionary", and it said "you're an asshole".
funny couple humor
I was stuck in traffic and I looked in the mirror and in the car behind me there was a couple having a horrible argument and right below their image it said "Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear". I just thought, man I hope so because she was pretty mad.
funny book humor
Whenever I see an autobiography for sale in the book store i just flip to the about the author section. I'm like, "Done, next!"
funny flower humor
I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.
funny humor epidemics
I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no "chocohol". We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but don't understand word endings. They're probably "over-workaholled".
funny humor nouns
It's weird the way "finger puppet" sounds okay as a noun... ladies.
funny couple humor
A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.'
funny humor forever
The thing about glitter is if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.