Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
Demetri Martin quotes about
squirrels looks uptight
To make a squirrel look less uptight, put tiny sunglasses on it.
crazy nails looks
Use crazy glue and nails to turn a rocking chair into just a chair that looks like a rocking chair.
scary looks humans
A human head looks the least scary when it is attached.
dog cat looks
Dogs seem more photogenic than cats. In photos most cats look like sociopaths.
looks slow-motion eating
A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.
looks
Once I started to look i finally began to see.
thinking smoking looks
A pipe is greater than a bong. Because when you're smoking a pipe at least it makes you look like you're thinking about something.
creative sketchbooks looks
How many of you are creative? I don't know, but for me, when you make a bunch of things over time and then you keep them... you forget. I look through my sketchbooks and I'm an audience for myself.
jesus guy looks
The chances of someone who looks like Jesus having pot raises steadily, to a point. If the guy is on a cross you may have the wrong guy.
dancing looks spiders
Sometimes it looks like I'm dancing, but it's just that I walked into a spider web.
dark looks want
I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.
dalmatians looks shapes
When a Dalmatian sees a cow he must be like, 'What the hell happened to him? I am high right now. That dalmatian is fat and smeary.' When the cow sees the Dalmatian he must be like, 'He looks amazing. I am so out of shape, this is ridiculous. My tits are on the ground here.
eye looks idiot
A straw enables you to drink without using your wrist. A straw is your friend - until you lose eye contact with the straw. Then it will betray you and make you look like an idiot.
funny mexican looks
Sometimes if I really want to get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with something like, "I'm not racist, but..." I say, "I'm not racist, but you look great today." They say, "That wasn't racist at all." I said, "I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican."