Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
queens kings men
Checkers taught me that a King is a man with another man on top of him. But life taught me that that's actually called a Queen.
funny thinking ideas
Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.
funny issues kites
I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"
thinking interesting rhyme
I think it's interesting that cologne rhymes with alone.
girl bulletproof-vest sweaters
A lifevest protects you from drowning and a bulletproof vest protects you from getting shot, and a sweater vest protects you from pretty girls.
thinking insane desire
I think there are so many little hurdles and impediments with stand-up that you'd need to have this insane desire to do it if you didn't have something that clicked right away.
country people ifs
People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty.
funny jigsaw says wanna
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'
snakes spaghetti
I wanna see a snake eat spaghetti.
funny horse humor
If you want to make a mythical creature, just take a regular animal and add wings to it. A horse becomes a Pegasus, a lion becomes a griffin, and a hawk... becomes a double hawk.
art earth art-is
The earth without art is just eh.
choices dishwashers efficient
Multi-Choice question: My dishwasher is: efficient; hilarious.
stupid zippers two
There are two kinds of jackets - reversible, and reversible but it's hard to zipper up and it looks really stupid.
realizing get-real disillusioned
You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.