Jackie Mason
Jackie Mason
Jackie Mason is an American stand-up comedian and film and television actor. He is ranked #63 on Comedy Central's 100 greatest stand-up comedians of all-time...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth9 June 1931
CitySheboygan, WI
CountryUnited States of America
names personality use
The pamphlet uses my name, my likeness, my 'shtick' (if you will), and my very act, which is derived from my personality, to attract attention and converts.
new-york sound speak
A person who speaks good English in New York sounds like a foreigner.
marriage funny-love cheating
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
death suicide support
It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.
italian half stealing
I've got a friend who is half-Jewish and half-Italian. If he can't buy it wholesale, he steals it!
accounts accountants ran
Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!
cake differences pieces
It is easy to tell the difference between Jews and Gentiles. After the show, all the gentiles are saying 'Have a drink? Want a drink? Let's have a drink!' While all the Jews are saying 'Have you eaten yet? Want a piece of cake? Let's have some cake!
land jerusalem entitled
Everybody knows we're entitled to one Jerusalem. History reveals very simply that this is our land from the days of the Bible.
country winning years
I've been watching politics for 35 or 40 years and you just never know. You can have one person win the Iowa caucus and then the whole picture changes ten minutes later. The same thing can happen again after New Hampshire. I have no idea what's going to happen with our country in the future.
men want rooms
Why is it that they have Bibles in every motel room? Why should a man want to read the Bible when he's with a woman alone in a motel room? Why would he be interested? Whatever he's praying for, he's already got!
retirement health sickness
It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.
crazy jewish-values people
I'm crazy about the fact that the Jewish people should survive because they have so much to contribute and so many values to contribute to the world. It would be a much better world, a much more peaceful and non-violent world if we lived by Jewish values.
kids wanted accountants
Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?
sex years important
I always thought music was more important than sex—then I thought if I don't hear a concert for a year-and-a-half it doesn't bother me.