Jeremy Clarkson
Jeremy Clarkson
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarksonis an English broadcaster, journalist and writer who specialises in motoring. He is best known for co-presenting the BBC TV show Top Gear with Richard Hammond and James May from October 2002 to March 2015. He also writes weekly columns for The Sunday Times and The Sun...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth11 April 1960
CityDoncaster, England
way backwards gates
If you go through the pearly gates backwards in a fireball, that's a cool way to die!
night woods top-gear
Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
reading mirrors car
I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating tw*t
dog book taken
She can take a year to read something, whereas I like a book that becomes more important in my life that life itself. When I was in the middle of 'Red Storm Rising' by Tom Clancy - which was not selected for the Man Booker shortlist - you could have taken my liver out and fed it to the dog. And I wouldn't have noticed.
knights lasts use
I therefore have to use The Force. And weirdly, this doesn't work very well. I don't understand why, because on the last census, I put my religion down as Jedi Knight...
home mean gun
Because drug dealers shoot each other in London, Norfolk farmers can't have guns to defend their homes. I mean, no one wants a gun - except at 4am when they hear a strange sound in the kitchen.
hands cigarette international
.. international hand of freindship. A cigarette
editing car racing
Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face.
real doors feet
Like every big organisation these days, the BBC is obsessed with the wellbeing of those who set foot on its premises. Studios must display warning notices if there is real glass on the set, and the other day I was presented with a booklet explaining how to use a door. I am not kidding.
bored kitchen sausage
I wore a groove in the kitchen floor with endless trips to the fridge, hoping against hope that I had somehow missed a plateful of cold sausages on the previous 4,000 excursions. Then, for no obvious reason, I decided to buy a footstool.
zoos animal years
Hollywood movies are designed for 15-year-old youths from North Dakota who, intellectually speaking, are on equal terms with a British zoo animal.
sea maelstrom hopelessness
Why is the forecast so bland? Why instead of 'stormy' don't they just say the sea's 'a frothing maelstrom of terror and hopelessness'?
pigs sticks top-gear
It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom
bees
My epiglottis is full of bees!