Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld
Jerome Allen "Jerry" Seinfeld is an American comedian, actor, director, writer, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 April 1954
CityBrooklyn, NY
CountryUnited States of America
breakup two three
That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
keyboards tunes truth-is
The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you're playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you're single, you're just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes.
skills nervous natural
That's the most comfortable place for me. In the beginning, yes, I was nervous going on stage. I was not a natural performer. I really had to acquire that skill.
running memories bus-stops
Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
kids exercise blessing
The blessing in life is when you find the torture you are comfortable with. That's marriage, it's kids, it's work, it's exercise. Find the torture you're comfortable with and you'll do well. You've mastered that, you've mastered life.
one-day matter fit
Ever noticed that no matter what happens in one day, it exactly fits in the newspaper?
growing-up reading men
When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman ... those are not fantasies ... they're options.
running pain thinking
What is the story with the airport sinks, that they will not give us a twist-on twist-off human faucet. "Is it that too risky for the human population? We have to do the one-handed pain-in-the-ass Alcatraz-style faucets. "What is it they think we will do? Turn 'em all on full, run out into the parking lot, laughing, pushing each other into the bushes?
rip roots hair
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
sexy naked show-me
I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.
want riches energy
I love energy. I love it. And I pursue it, and I want more of it. Physical and mental energy, to me, are the greatest riches of human life. And TM is like a free account of an endless amount of it.
sex dinner hours
Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.
television potato-chips potatoes
The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.
beer games fans
The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.