Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld
Jerome Allen "Jerry" Seinfeld is an American comedian, actor, director, writer, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 April 1954
CityBrooklyn, NY
CountryUnited States of America
kids training want
I know there are kids out there, I want to make sure they all know that driving without braking is not something I recommend, unless you have professional clown training or a comedy background, as I do. It is not something I plan to make a habit.
nice office house
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.
awards matter host
I do not know why anyone would host an awards show. No matter how unbelievably well you do at it, the only thing that can happen is you get asked again to host an awards show.
sorry thinking dating
What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? How long would a blind date last? About 13 seconds, I think. Oh, sorry, your rear end is too big. That's ok, your breath stinks anyway. See you later.
scripts phony outfits
The padded outfits, the bad scripts, the phony-looking sets... he dealt with it all. He had to. He was Superman.
nominations golden oscars
Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination.
sick people world
There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.
order knives facts
There is no more embarrassing thing in my life that the fact that I have actually uttered the phrase, I would like to order the Ginsu Knife.
littles dignity dies
Can't you at least die with a little dignity?
sex hell admire
I admire the hell out of her. You can't have sex with someone you admire.
morning brother cities
You know I have been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately, my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning. Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the city.
sex wells ifs
Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.
drug mouths encounters
No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public.
fruit return gamble
I don't return fruit. Fruit's a gamble. I know that going in.