Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld
Jerome Allen "Jerry" Seinfeld is an American comedian, actor, director, writer, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 April 1954
CityBrooklyn, NY
CountryUnited States of America
rip roots hair
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
sexy naked show-me
I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.
want riches energy
I love energy. I love it. And I pursue it, and I want more of it. Physical and mental energy, to me, are the greatest riches of human life. And TM is like a free account of an endless amount of it.
sex dinner hours
Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.
beer games fans
The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.
shallow more-to-life obvious
There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
funny ice massage
Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.
speech speechless
I am speechless: I have no speech
dream night lasts
I had a dream last night that a hamburger was eating ME!
halloween self years
Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band on the back of that mask? That was a quality item there, wasn't it? That was good for about 10 seconds before it snapped out of that cheap little staple they put it in there with.
eclairs gymnast hell
What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.
thirsty pretzels
These pretzels are making me thirsty!
distance way miles
You can measure distance by time. 'How far away is it?' 'Oh about 20 minutes.' But it doesn't work the other way. 'When do you get off work?' 'Around 3 miles.'
sex lying people
Everybody lies about sex. People lie during sex. If it weren't for lies, there'd be no sex.