Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
Joan Alexandra Molinsky, better known as Joan Rivers, was an American comedian, actress, writer, producer, and television host noted for her often controversial comedic persona—where she was alternately self-deprecating or sharply acerbic, especially toward celebrities and politicians...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth8 June 1933
CountryUnited States of America
jewelry sometimes hillarious
I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
nipples lows feeler
My boobs are so low I had to put curb feelers on my nipples!
valentine heart people
Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
grandchildren noses four
[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
unexpected surprise
In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected; the only surprise is a day that has none.
speak-english people house
I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.
praise
I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
yellow age i-can
I can't wear yellow anymore. It's too matchy-matchy with my catheter.
good-day steps aging
I now consider it a good day when I don't step on my boobs.
parenting motherhood eggs
Your proudest moment is to watch your egg not just function, but to achieve on her own.
nice yeah
Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.
temples needs body
My body is a temple, and my temple needs redecorating
almost attainment barriers determine frequently resolution scales true
Where there is a will there is a way. is an old true saying. He who resolves upon doing a thing, by that very resolution often scales the barriers to it, and secures its achievement. To think we are able, is almost to be so - to determine upon attainment is frequently attainment itself.
anyone left million reminded sees six tattooed time
Being Jewish has always been important to me. I now have 6M tattooed on the inside of my left arm. It's only a half-inch, but every time anyone sees it, they're reminded of the six million who perished, and so am I.