Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
Joan Alexandra Molinsky, better known as Joan Rivers, was an American comedian, actress, writer, producer, and television host noted for her often controversial comedic persona—where she was alternately self-deprecating or sharply acerbic, especially toward celebrities and politicians...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth8 June 1933
CountryUnited States of America
enjoy happenings
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
husband night naked
I have no boobs whatsoever. On my wedding night my husband said, 'Let me help you with those buttons' and I told him, 'I'm completely naked'.
fashion college mad
My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
grandchildren pigs talking
Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink"? It's like talking to a supermodel.
want aging chickens
I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
love-life missing life-is-like
My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
calm calm-down enjoy
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
next rooms born
I was born in 1962 and the room next to me was 1963.
stay-strong upset enjoy
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
stage horrible worst
The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.
alzheimers comedian might
I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
daughter speak jokes
My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, "pick up, I know you're there."
sex gynecologists telephones
I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life; my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
heart age funny-valentine
At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!