Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg
Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth24 February 1968
CitySaint Paul, MN
CountryUnited States of America
drs peppers degrees
Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree.
funny good-morning humor
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
funny humor salt
I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt."
funny humor thinking
Swiss cheese is the only cheese you can draw and people can identify. You can draw American cheese, but someone will think it's cheddar. It's the only cheese you can bite and miss. "Hey Mitch - does that sandwich have cheese on it?" "Every now and then!"
hate animal giraffe
I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.
funny integrity humor
I was on a bus once, it was in the middle of the night, and I had a box of crackers and a can of Easy Cheese. It was dark, and it was a surprise how much cheese I had applied on each cracker. That's why they should have a glow-in-the-dark version of Easy Cheese. It's not like the product has any integrity to begin with. If you buy a room-temperature cheese that you squeeze out of a can, you probably won't get mad because it glows in the dark too.
funny humor thinking
I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out.
funny humor car
I'm into carpooling, because sometimes my car gets hot and needs to refresh itself.
funny fall humor
I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.
funny humor want
If you want to talk to me after the show, I'd be surprised.
funny humor house
If you find yourself lost in the woods, build a house. "Well, I was lost, but now I live here!"
funny humor waiting
I can't wait to get off the stage, because I've got some LifeSavers in my pocket and pineapple is next!
time way dollars
If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.
funny girl wine
I used to drink wine. This girl asked me, "Doesn't wine give you a headache?" "Yeah, eventually, but the first and the middle part are amazing!"