Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg
Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth24 February 1968
CitySaint Paul, MN
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor men
I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is.
funny humor guy
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
circles gambling sitting
I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.
funny dad humor
I wrote a letter to my Dad - I wrote, "I really enjoy being here," but I accidentally wrote rarely instead of really. But I still wanted to use it, so I wrote, "I rarely drive steamboats, Dad - there's a lot of stuff you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator." This letter took a harsh turn right away.
funny humor fighting
I saw on HBO they were advertising a boxing match "It's a fight to the finish". That's a good place to end.
funny humor pieces
Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.
funny humor kids
If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.
funny humor thinking
I bought a house, it's a two bedroom house, but I think it's up to me to decide how many bedrooms there are. This bedroom has an oven in it. This bedroom has a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom is over in that other guy's house.
funny humor snakes
A snake bite emergency kit is a body bag.
sports mean gatorade
I'm not into sports. I mean...I like Gatorade, but that's as far as it goes.
funny basketball sports
People think I'm into sports because I'm a man. But I'm not into sports. I like Gatorade, but that's about as far as it goes. By the way, you don't have to be sweaty and play basketball to enjoy Gatorade. You can just be a thirsty dude. Gatorade forgets about this demographic!
funny humor men
You know when a company wants to use letters in their phone number, but often they'll use too many letters? "Call 1-800-I-Really-Enjoy-Brand-New-Carpeting." Too many letters, man, must I dial them all? "Hello? Hold on, man, I'm only on 'Enjoy.' How did you know I was calling? You're good, I can see why they hired you!"
funny sports athlete
Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!
records said stores
I went to a record store, they said they specialized in hard-to-find records. NOTHING WAS ALPHABETIZED!