Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg
Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth24 February 1968
CitySaint Paul, MN
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor thinking
Has anyone seen me on Letterman? Two million people watch that show and I don't know where they are. You might have seen this next comedian on the Late Show, but I think more people have seen me at the store. That should be my introduction. "You might have seen this next comedian at the store," and people would say "Hell yes I have!"
funny girlfriend humor
My girlfriend is named Lynn. She spells her name "Lynn". My old girlfriend's name is Lyn, too, but she spells it "Lyn". Every now and then I screw up, I call my new girlfriend by my old girlfriend's name, and she can tell because I don't say "n" as long.
funny humor pasta
I can't eat spaghetti. There's too many of them.
funny humor two
I got two stools, in case I want to sit down and sit down again on something else.
funny humor home
I got a smoke alarm at home, but really it's more like a 9-volt-battery-slowly-drainer.
funny humor rigor-mortis
A lot of bands have intense names, like "Rigor Mortis" or "Mortuary". We weren't that intense, we called ourselves "Injured". Later on we changed it to "Acapella" when we were walking out of the pawn shop.
funny humor people
I played in a death-metal band. People either loved us or hated us. Or they thought we were OK.
funny humor way
Because of acid, I now know that butter is way better than margarine.
funny writing humor
When you're in Hollywood and you're a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things. All right, you're a stand-up comedian, can you write us a script? That's not fair. That's like if I worked hard to become a cook, and I'm a really good cook, they'd say, "OK, you're a cook. Can you farm?"
funny humor guy
When you open the elevator on the top floor of a building and the other guy doesn't get out, something is seriously wrong.
funny humor limos
Last time I called shotgun we had rented a limo, so I messed up!
funny humor views
I travel with a boom box. When I get on a plane, I stuff the power cord for the boom box into the battery compartment. From an outsider's point of view, it looks like I've got it all wrong.
funny humor firsts
I had my palm read. I wrote something on it first to see if she would read that too.
funny humor eye
I sometimes close my eyes during a show because I have drawn a picture of an audience enjoying the show more on the back of my eyelids.