Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
sorry rain people
I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know.
funny yellow ties
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
funny witty real
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
funny girl fall
I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.
night muggers mask
The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
sports hockey fighting
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
beautiful girl mets
I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
funny morning sex
I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
motivation nice inspiration
It's nice to be the best, but not when being the best brings out the worst in you.
elevators basements operators
Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: `Basement?'
funny cheating humor
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
funny humor men
I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."
wine funny-relationship men
I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
kids rejection
I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back.