Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
funny humor eye
For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back.
funny hurt real
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
school
She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
wife said my-wife
I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
funny humor suicidal
I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor; they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
marriage dog couple
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
funny humor lessons
She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
funny witty humorous
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
funny humor men
A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!
funny mother humor
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
girl night numbers
I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
beauty mother doctors
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
girl two blind
Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.
funny kids poor
Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.